Excerpt for Where I Came From But No Longer Exist by Gary Bell, available in its entirety at Smashwords

Where I Came From But No Longer Exist

15 Poems of Discovery

By Gary Bell



Smashwords Edition Copyright 2010 by Gary Bell.

All rights reserved.


Book layout and design by Gary Bell.

Edited by Paivi Pittman and Danielle Toone.


Cover art by Matt Bodett. All rights reserved. http://www.mattbodett.com



For Elizabeth Obregon,

My muse before I knew I was a poet.



Table of Contents


Installation I


Deep inside

Starving is multidimensional

Donor

I used to believe

Her hands

Naturally

Michael

His voice

Erick

once alive, never again


Installation II


Where I Came From

Confidence

Betraying the stigma

Somewhere I Belong

Afforest


Acknowledgements



Installation I



14


Deep inside


Fear is powerful.

It drowns our desires,

cloaks our eyes,

strangles our every will.


Stunting our growth

and passion withheld,

lowering us

to stand uncertain,

giving in,

not breathing.


We,

ourselves,

keep it

but deny this;

Fear

of being cared for,

Fear

of being stronger

than fear

itself.



12


Starving is multidimensional


Smell of Mom's food

cooking

provokes

my id,


Scents are much of

taste

what causes

Heaviness,


I'm exhausted,

and still wanting



52


Donor


plasma hits

goose bump

linoleum

this time

no one

looks around

because

shit is,

life is,

disconnected is,

last return

is

on

the

slippery

tile



20


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