If You Just Smile
~B.K. Wright~
A Beau to Beau Romance
Copyright 2010-08-25: B.K. Wright
Beau to Beau Books
All rights reserved
http://www.beautobeau.com
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Included in: If You Just Smile
1. Openers
2. Introduction
3. If You Just Smile
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Intro:
Matt has everything that he has ever wanted, or at least he thinks he does. His career is blossoming, and he has recently been promoted to vice president of the bank in the small town where he has worked since graduating from college. Matt’s boss is the best, and Matt has lived with his partner and lover, Kent, for the past few years. If there is one thing that Matt would love to change in his life, it is the anger which he seems to cause in his lover, yet he has no idea what he is doing to anger him. Matt does his best to be a good partner to Kent, but is embarrassed about the black eyes and bruises which he finds very difficult to hide or find excuses for. Matt feels certain that his and Kent’s relationship is no different than any other couple’s, but when Matt’s boss asks Matt to take his place at a yearly conference, Matt meets a man who shows him a completely different life from the one that has now become perhaps a little too familiar to him.
Book Content:
Matt awoke in anticipation of the alarm, and forced himself to sit up. He sat on the side of the bed, trying to force his tired body to come to life. Before getting out of bed, Matt turned and looked at the man sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. Matt had loved Kent for two years now, and Matt was certain that Kent loved him. Matt yawned, and put his feet on the floor. He stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom, remembering to close the door behind him before turning on the light. Kent worked late, and did not want to be awakened at six in the morning. Matt splashed water on his face, and winced when he made the mistake of touching the bruise that he knew was there even before he looked in the mirror. He slowly raised his head until he saw his reflection in the mirror. How the fuck am I going to cover this one up? he wondered. Under his breath, he said, “I’m sure no other men at the bank wear women’s makeup.”
Matt was a vice president of a bank in his small home town where everyone knew everyone. He and Kent lived about thirty kilometers or so to the south of the small town where Matt had grown up. Matt had met Kent in college, and the two had fallen in love within a few short months. Kent had completed only two years of college, stating that it was clearly a waste of time and that he could make more money without a degree in tips alone from bartending.
Matt showered quickly this morning. He knew that it would take a lot of time to cover up the shiner he had gotten last night, and the drive to work seemed to grow longer and longer every day. Matt’s days were long and the attention to detail required of a vice president of a bank made him exhausted by the time he arrived home at night. He didn’t dare go to bed until Kent came home from work, though, which was often after two in the morning. Kent expected Matt to be available to him every night, and if Matt were asleep when Kent came home, Kent would accuse him of being inappreciative of him or thinking that he was better than him because he was the one with the college degree. On more than one occasion, Kent had accused Matt of cheating on him, and was certain that that had been the reason that Matt had fallen asleep before Kent had come home.
Matt left the house very quietly this morning, and didn’t look at the bruise on his face again until he was halfway to work. Matt felt bad for Kent. Kent had watched as Matt had earned promotion after promotion, and was now very well respected in his chosen career and was also earning a six figure salary, while Kent was still bartending at the same bar and grill where he had worked for six years now. Matt looked at his face in the rearview mirror. He tried to dab some makeup on the bruise to cover it up, but this one was determined to be seen.
Matt stopped at the park on the outskirts of town and did his best to cover up the bruise that was already beginning to change colors. It looked darker than it had when he had first seen it this morning. “Maybe no one will notice,” he lied to himself. Matt had already used every excuse he could think of when he had come to work with a bruise. He had no idea how he was going to explain this one. Matt had known women who had been in abusive relationships, but this was much different. Matt was the one with the abusive man, though he was sure that everyone at the bank had assumed that he was married to a woman and that she was the one putting the bruises on his face. It was difficult enough for a man to admit that he had an abusive wife, but if anyone were to discover that Matt’s bruises were from another man, a man who was his live-in lover, there was no telling what they would say or do. He might even lose his job. And Matt certainly did not want his fellow bankers to know that he was gay. Being gay was tough enough in the larger cities, but in small town America, where everyone knew everyone’s business, being gay was a different matter entirely.
“Good morning, Matt.” “Good morning, Linda,” Matt said, smiling instantly. He hurried to his office, hoping that his sweet motherly secretary hadn’t seen the bruise on his face. Matt was early today, as he always was, and began to work on the financial reports that were due in less than a week. Matt had rearranged his office about a month ago so that he could face away from the door and away from the watchful eyes of everyone who came into the bank, and today he was especially glad that he had done that. When he looked at his reflection in the computer monitor, he was shocked. It appeared as if his face might be swollen a little on the side with the bruise. “Shit,” he said, under his breath.
Matt kept as busy as he could for most of the morning, not wanting to talk to anyone today. “Knock, knock,” Linda said. “These are for you, Matt.” Matt made a half turn in his chair. “Thanks, Linda.” The sweet woman left Matt’s office, and once he was sure that she had gone, he turned and looked at the beautiful flowers that had been delivered to him. He opened the card, though he knew who they were from. “I love you. You are my life.” They were signed, “Love, Kent.” Matt knew that the words on the card were true. Kent just feels bad about himself and about his work situation, Matt had told himself often. He knew that Kent felt trapped in a dead-end job, and that Kent’s father had been an abusive alcoholic. Kent had told Matt that he had gotten his bad temper from his father. “I can’t help it, Matt. That’s just the way that I am. It’s in my genes.” “He just needs to know that I love him,” Matt said, trying to convince himself. The flowers made his office smell good, and the aroma was somewhat therapeutic.
Toward the end of the day, the bank president stopped by Matt’s office. “Nice flowers, Matt.” “Thanks, John.” “Whoa, were you in a fight there, Matt?” “No, I, uh, I think I’m still getting the hang of the many dangers that lurk on the farm. It’s been awhile since I did much manual labor.” Matt thought that sounded at least somewhat believable. “Well, anyway, that’s none of my business, Matt, and that’s not what I came to talk to you about. The annual banking conference is next week and I’m in a bind this year.” Matt was concerned for the boss that had been so good to him. “What’s up, John?” “Well, I hate to miss it, Matt. I don’t like to push my responsibilities onto others, either. It’s Jan. Her due date isn’t for another month, but at her doctor’s visit today she was discovered to have pre-eclampsia. I guess that’s a fancy word for high blood pressure during pregnancy. She needs to have a C-section, Matt.” “Oh, I’m sorry, John. They do expect a good outcome, don’t they?” “Oh, sure. They say the kid is about six and a half pounds already. It’s just that I need someone to fill in for me at the conference. You’re the best I’ve got here, Matt. Do you mind going in my place?” Matt smiled at the somewhat pleading look on his boss’ face. “You know I will, John.” “You’re a lifesaver, Matt. I will have everything ready for you, all the reports and whatnot, I promise. It’s not all work at these conferences, either. There is plenty of downtime. You’ll have fun. And, this year the conference is in Denver. You ski?” “No, I’ve never tried it.” “Well, once you try it, you will love it. Everything is paid for, so don’t worry about going broke.” Matt smiled at his boss. He envied him a little. His wife, Jan, was a real peach. Matt had no use for a wife. He just wished that he didn’t make Kent so angry so often. I just need to be more understanding about Kent’s work situation, that’s all. I just need to be a better partner to Kent, he told himself.
On the drive home that night, Matt felt good about himself. His boss had trusted him to take his place at the most important conference of the year. When he walked into the house, he felt his heart in his throat. “What am I going to tell Kent? This is going to kill him.” Matt decided that he didn’t need to say anything to Kent just yet. “I can wait until the weekend to talk to Kent about the conference. I don’t leave until Monday.”
Matt walked into the quaint yet comfortable home that he shared with Kent and set his things down. He walked into the bedroom and then on into the bathroom. “Oh, my God!” he said, to the bruised face in the mirror. “John had to have seen this today, not to mention everyone who had walked past the door to my office.” Matt gently touched his face, and winced. He very carefully wiped off the makeup, which hid very little, and then he went into the den and poured himself a drink. He watched the news, and dozed off and on for a few hours.
He and Kent had had quite a fight the night before. Business hadn’t been that good at the bar where Kent worked, and there was talk that Kent’s hours might be cut by one day a week. Matt had assured Kent that he was making enough money for both of them, which had been a hard blow to Kent’s pride. “I don’t need your pity, Matt,” he had said. “I didn’t mean it like that, Kent. I just meant that you don’t have to worry about money, that’s all.” Matt played the conversation of the night before over and over in his mind. When Matt had suggested that Kent go back to college and finish his degree, it had been the ultimate blow to Kent’s bruised ego, which had ultimately caused the bruise on Matt’s face. “You think I’m a fucking failure, is that it?” “No. I didn’t mean that at all, Kent.” Kent had shoved Matt hard against the wall, and had struck his face. Matt had thought that he had passed out for a few seconds after that, because when he looked up Kent was gone. He had stepped outside to cool off a little. “I just need to be more sensitive. I guess I was pretty thoughtless last night,” Matt said, to the bruised face in the mirror.
It was a little after midnight when Kent walked in. “Matt?” “In here, Kent.” Kent walked into the den and kissed Matt on the lips. “I love you, baby. Oh, no. I’m so sorry.” He held Matt’s bruised face in his hands. “You know I don’t mean to do it,” he said. “I know you don’t, Kent. The flowers were beautiful.” Kent smiled, and left the room. Matt heard the shower running, and he knew that Kent expected him to join him. Matt was tired and needed to sleep, but would avoid another scene like last night’s at almost any cost.